The stress of day-to-day care, watching your loved one's health deteriorate and having to make difficult decisions about long-term care can leave anyone feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.  No matter how strong and resiliant you are, you're still likely to have problems with certain aspects of dementia/Alzheimer's care.  Recognising the signs of caregiver stress and burnout is the first step to dealing with the problem.  

10 Signs of Caregiver Stress

If you experience any of these signs of stress on a regular basis, make time to talk to your GP.

1.   DENIAL about the disease and its effect on the person who has been diagnosed.  "I know mum is going to get better."

2.   ANGER AT THE PERSON, anger that no cure exists or anger that people don't understand what's happening.  "If he asks me that one more time I'll scream!"

3.   SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL from friends and activities that once brought pleasure.  "I don't care about getting together with the neighbours/friends anymore." 

4.   ANXIETY ABOUT THE FUTURE "What happens when she needs more care than I can provide?"

5.   DEPRESSION that begins to break your spirit and affects your ability to cope.  "I don't care anymore."

6.   EXHAUSTION that makes it nearly impossible to complete necessary daily tasks.  "I'm too tired for this." 

7.   SLEEPLESSNESS caused by a never-ending list of concerns.  "What if she wanders out of the house or falls and hurts herself?" 

8.   IRRITABILITY that leads to moodiness and triggers negative responses and actions.  "Leave me alone!"

9.   LACK OF CONCENTRATION that makes it difficult to perform familiar tasks.  "I was busy;  I forgot we had an appointment." 

10. HEALTH PROBLEMS that begin to take a mental and physical toll.  "I can't remember the last time I felt good." 

= DEMENTIA/ALZHEIMER'S CAREGIVER BURNOUT! 

Read about aggressive behaviour in people with dementia/Alzheimer's

When prolonged and excessive stress from caring for a loved one with dementia/Alzheimer's leaves you feeling emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted you may be facing burnout.  

Burnout reduces your productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling helpless, hopeless, angry and resentful.  Eventually you may feel like you have nothing more to give. 

The warning signs of Caregiver burnout include: 

• Excessive stress and tension 
• Debilitating depression 
• Persistent anxiety, anger or guilt 
• Extreme irritability or anger with the  condition 
• Decreased overall life satisfaction 
• Relationship conflicts and social isolation 
• Lower immunity and greater need for healthcare services
• Excessive use of medications, drugs or alcohol 

BURNOUT can damage your health and the health of the person you are caring for, so if you recognise the signs it is important to take action right away. 

No matter the day-to-day demands of caregiving for a person with dementia/Alzheimer's, it is imperative that you carve out time for your own self-care.  

These tips can help: 

Seek regular respite care.  You cannot do it all alone.  Ask other family members, friends or your dementia care supporter for help with respite care so you can get a much-needed break.  You can also seek help from volunteer organisations, support groups, day care programmes and residential respite care facilities.  Schedule frequent breaks throughout the day, take time to pursue hobbies and interests and stay on top of your own health needs.  Seek professional help if you recognise you're exhibiting any warning signs of Caregiver burnout. 

Get moving.  Regular exercise not only keeps you fit, it releases endorphins that can really boost your mood.  Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise on most days.  If it’s difficult to get away for that long at once, break the time up into 10 minute sessions sprinkled throughout the day.  Take a walk or jog outside, dance to your favourite music, work out to an exercise DVD, or cycle to the shops.  Taking a group exercise class or working out with friends can give you a much-needed social outlet as well.

Talk it over.  Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counsellor, about how you feel and what you’re going through.  The person you talk to doesn’t have to be able to solve your problems; he or she just has to be a good listener.  The simple act of talking face-to-face with someone who cares can be extremely beneficial.  Opening up won’t make you a burden to others.  In fact, most friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only strengthen your bond.

Take time to play.  In the early stages of dementia/Alzheimer’s, include your loved one in short walks, board games, or jigsaw puzzles.  Join an online scrabble tournament, practice your golf swing, or play with a pet.  A daily dose of fun is good medicine and doesn’t require money, a car, or huge blocks of time.

Try something new.  Challenge yourself to learn a new skill while you are ‘on the job’.  Order a self-paced foreign language program or try an exercise video game, from tennis to golf to pitching a strike, so-called ‘exergames’ (video games that use a form of exercise).  Offer living room-friendly activities for every age and skill level.  With just a few minutes of practice each day, you can flex mental muscle and relieve harmful stress.

See the funny side.  Humour is a well-known antidote to stress, sadness, illness, and boredom.  Give yourself permission to chuckle at the absurdities you and your loved one experience and surround yourself with laughter.  Instead of heavy dramas on TV or video, go for a hearty belly laugh by watching episodes of your favourite sitcom.  Your infectious good mood can help replenish your inner resources and sooth your loved one.

One of the biggest challenges as a Caregiver for someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's is to accept what is happening to your loved one.  At each new stage of the disease, you have to alter your expectations about what your loved one is capable of.  By accepting each new reality and taking time to reflect on these changes, you can better cope with the emotional loss and deepen the feelings of satisfaction and love in your role as Caregiver. 

Keep a daily journal to record and reflect on your experiences.  By recording your thoughts, you can mourn losses, celebrate successes and look for those thought patterns that keep you from acting in the present.

Count your blessings.  A daily gratitude list can chase away the blues and let you focus on what your loved one is still capable of, rather than the abilities he or she has lost.

Celebrate what is possible.  Your loved one still has many abilities.  Structure activities to invite participation on whatever level is possible, and you will both find real enjoyment.

Try to envision your loved one’s world.  Imagine not being able to remember and do life’s simple tasks.  By valuing what your loved one is able to give, you can find satisfaction on even the toughest days.

Practice relaxation techniques.  Meditation, deep breathing, visualization, mindfulness, yoga, or rhythmic exercise can calm, restore, and promote happiness.  Experiment with different techniques to find the ones that work best for you.

Improve emotional awareness.  Remaining engaged, focused, and calm in the midst of such tremendous responsibility can challenge even the most capable Caregivers.  By developing your emotional awareness skills however you can relieve stress, experience positive emotions and bring new peace and clarity to your Caregiving role.